{"id":3409,"date":"2021-09-03T14:27:00","date_gmt":"2021-09-03T14:27:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mabelslabels.com\/blog\/?p=3409"},"modified":"2021-09-02T13:13:24","modified_gmt":"2021-09-02T13:13:24","slug":"mindful-ways-to-ease-back-to-school-nerves-for-your-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mabelslabels.com\/blog\/2021\/09\/03\/mindful-ways-to-ease-back-to-school-nerves-for-your-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"Mindful Ways to Ease Back-to-School Nerves for Your Kids."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Resiliency Tips That They Can Take Into Adulthood <\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;The first day of school can be frightening. It\u2019s a new place, new people, new buildings to navigate, and new rules to learn. There are so many unknowns. For each child, the questions and anxiety are different. Whether it\u2019s about missing home, or not knowing what to do or where to go, or the awkward phase of making new friends, it\u2019s no surprise that our kids can feel some anxieties about this; it\u2019s a lot. Even some adults google new places ahead of time to make sure they know what to expect; why should we expect anything braver from our kids.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;As parents, we want to move mountains to make sure our kids never feel stress or pain, but logically we also know that it\u2019s a part of life. The best thing we can do is set them up with tips, tricks, and tools to manage the tough times. They need to learn coping mechanisms to build into lifelong tools for resiliency. You can find plenty of ways on Pinterest to deal with back-to-school nerves, like sprinkling a pinch of worry-glitter under their pillow for the worry fairy to take away or bracelets or songs. But at the end of the day, we need to be teaching our children how to cope- not ways to pretend the feelings will disappear with magic. They won\u2019t. It\u2019s cute and an excellent idea to use alongside other ways, but we need to teach our kids to cope with big feelings without us walking them through a magic scenario. As teens and adults, we can\u2019t hold their hands, so we need to set them up for successfully managing independently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Often, especially with younger kids, they don\u2019t know what they\u2019re feeling and can\u2019t articulate well enough that the weirdness they\u2019re experiencing is worry. It may manifest in sleepless nights, being extra tearfulness, tummy aches, or rule-breaking. During times of change, any out-of-character behavior could be a sign of worry or anxiety. As a parent, you can often guess the scenario and know that the tummy aches the night before school is butterflies or that an out-of-character sleepless night is probably a worry. However, it can be hard to understand how to help them and what to do or say when they can\u2019t articulate the feeling. Here are a few tips and things to remember and say as our kids embark on a new school year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h6 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>\u00a0Tips for working through it with them:<\/strong><\/h6>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u00a01)\u00a0Validate their feelings.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;Perhaps they can\u2019t articulate the feelings, but you can probably guess. Start with validating the emotions they\u2019re having, and they\u2019ll start to understand them and maybe even share what the direct worry is<em>. I\u2019m worried I won\u2019t make friends,&nbsp;<\/em>for example.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u00a02)\u00a0Talk about what worry is.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;Explain a little about worry. Everyone worries. It\u2019s a normal part of life. The purpose of fear is to protect us (depending on your child\u2019s age, feel free to dive into the fight-or-flight response). But sometimes, worry is a false alarm. There is nothing to fear, but our brain doesn\u2019t know that yet.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Remember that during times of high anxiety, some kids won\u2019t understand the logic, or their emotions are too heightened to think clearly. So don\u2019t push this conversation if you believe the logical brain isn\u2019t able to fire. During anxiety, we have a quick onslaught of chemicals that trigger our emotional response, resulting in our prefrontal cortex (the logical thinker) getting over-ridden.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;Remember this when your child may seem unreasonable or unable to think clearly- it\u2019s not a choice. It\u2019s a part of their brain taking over.&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u00a03)\u00a0Allow them to sit with the feeling.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;Worries can\u2019t be pushed away too quickly or easily, we all need to sit in those uncomfortable spaces sometimes, and kids are no different. But, by sitting with those uncomfortable feelings rather than moving on and pretending they\u2019re not relevant, we allow ourselves to feel a separation between self and the feeling.&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.self.com\/story\/kristen-bell-mental-health-trick-daughters\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Kristin Bell<\/a>&nbsp;recently explained it well, she said that \u201cthe feelings are just passing through us,\u201d and she asks her kids, \u201cDo you want a solution to this problem you\u2019re crying about, or do you just want to let this feeling pass through you?\u201d What a beautiful way of simply explaining how sitting in your emotions teaches you that feelings come and go, and they aren\u2019t who we are. Feelings are not facts.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h6 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>\u00a0Tools to teach them:<\/strong><\/h6>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u00a01)\u00a0Change the\u00a0<em>what-if<\/em>\u00a0to\u00a0<em>what-is.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>&nbsp;<\/em>This is probably the most well-known mindfulness technique, and for a good reason. It\u2019s important to teach our kids to be present. Being aware of the moment we\u2019re living is not only a healthy and positive mindset to live in, but it\u2019s&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.mindfulschools.org\/about-mindfulness\/research-on-mindfulness\/#reference-1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">scientifically proven<\/a>&nbsp;to ease anxiety (as well as a long list of other benefits). Have them switch from saying \u201cwhat -if\u201d to \u201cwhat is\u201d what is happening right now: we\u2019re at home, safe, and together. We are happy; we are healthy etc. At this moment, the only moment that matters is this one, and I am fine.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u00a02)\u00a0Flip It.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>&nbsp;<\/strong>Take the uncomfortable thoughts; what<em>&nbsp;if I don\u2019t make friends&nbsp;<\/em>and flip it! What\u2019s the flip side of that?&nbsp;<em>Maybe you will make a best friend for life,&nbsp;<\/em>or<em>&nbsp;perhaps you\u2019ll see someone you already know.&nbsp;<\/em>It\u2019s simple, take the negative thought or worry and flip it into a positive.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u00a03)\u00a0Take a deep breath.\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;Teach your child to put their hands on their belly, take a deep breath in, and feel their belly rise. Then slowly release the breath through their mouth, letting all of the worries and butterflies in their belly escape with their breath.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Learning ways to manage nerves and anxiety is a skill they\u2019ll take with them through the teen years and into adulthood. The younger we teach them these tools, the better they\u2019ll use them to help themselves when needed. However, it\u2019s important to remember we\u2019re talking about back-to-school nerves, not high-level anxiety, which parents need to recognize and differentiate between (you know your child best). If your child seems to have signs of unmanageable anxiety, then it\u2019s best to speak with your family doctor about the most appropriate steps to take for your child.&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Resiliency Tips That They Can Take Into Adulthood &nbsp;The first day of school can be frightening. It\u2019s a new place, new people, new buildings to navigate, and new rules to learn. There are so many unknowns. For each child, the questions and anxiety are different. Whether it\u2019s about missing home, or not knowing what to<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":20,"featured_media":3416,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,3],"tags":[713,715,717,714,718,716],"class_list":{"0":"post-3409","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-parenting","8":"category-school","9":"tag-back-to-school-nerves","10":"tag-coping-mechanisms-for-kids","11":"tag-first-day-jitters","12":"tag-kids-anxiety","13":"tag-raising-resilient-kids","14":"tag-school-nerves"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Mindful Ways to Ease Back-to-School Nerves for Your Kids. - The Mabelhood<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Mindfulness tools to teach your kids will help ease their back-to-school nerves. 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