{"id":3453,"date":"2023-06-18T14:00:00","date_gmt":"2023-06-18T14:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mabelslabels.com\/blog\/?p=3453"},"modified":"2024-08-14T14:42:56","modified_gmt":"2024-08-14T14:42:56","slug":"after-school-restraint-collapse_tips","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mabelslabels.com\/blog\/2023\/06\/18\/after-school-restraint-collapse_tips\/","title":{"rendered":"After School Restraint Collapse; Tips on How Your Family Can Survive These Difficult School Days"},"content":{"rendered":"\r\n

We\u2019re just a few weeks into the school year, and we\u2019ve finally conquered the back-to-school first-week nerves (not yet? Sending love). Just as we start to think to count down the morning struggles, we begin to think that maybe, just maybe, we can handle the morning routine. The moment we let our guard down, thinking we\u2019ve got this, we start to see a new pattern arising\u2014After School Restraint Collapse,<\/a> a term coined by Andrea Loewen Nair.

Maybe for your kindie, it\u2019s a total out-of-control meltdown, or for your tween, it\u2019s acting quiet and grumpy. However it looks in your household, it\u2019s likely hard to manage. It\u2019s also a little disheartening; you\u2019re excited to see your kids and hear all about their day, and you get nothing but mumbled grunts in return.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

This is normal. It\u2019s manageable, and it\u2019s very, very common. After School restraint Collapse, a term coined only a few years ago. It suddenly resonated with families in a big way.\u00a0\u00a0


What is After School Restraint Collapse?<\/strong>


Let\u2019s take a step back, these days, school is different, and many children, especially our younger ones, have a challenging time managing a school day when all they want to do is play. This is amplified in children with special needs.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

With large classroom sizes, many kids are confined to a desk all day. It is very unnatural; kids are meant to move their bodies, explore and learn through play. Yet, as much as we hear how well they\u2019re coping in the classroom, the media often talks about how resilient our kids are for working through these challenging times; we often don\u2019t hear about what happens after class.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

You pick your child up from school, and the teacher mentions what a great day they had! Yet, the moment they get in the car or step through the door, they\u2019re miserable or unable to hold it together. You start to wonder why they have a split personality. This is After School Restraint Collapse.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Why do after school meltdowns happen?\u00a0 \u00a0<\/strong><\/h5>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

You kid has spent all day sitting at a desk, possibly wearing a mask, minding their manners, managing complex relationships, listening carefully. They have been working and thinking hard and primarily restraining their natural kid impulses to yell, jump, spin in circles, and all the other lovely and weird things kids do. It is mentally, physically, and emotionally difficult for kids- even on the best of days.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

\u00a0Holding in tough emotions is hard for anyone, especially kids. By the time they get home, they just simply can\u2019t hold it together anymore. They arrive home into their safe space, where love is unconditional. And they let it all go. The entire days\u2019 worth of stress, emotions, and holding it together comes bursting out. It looks like anger, tears, defiance, and possibly a full-blown meltdown of kicking and screaming. It can happen right into adolescence, although it may appear less of a breakdown and more of quiet, mumbling, and grumpy.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

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\u00a0The mental load of kids at school during a pandemic is hard.\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

\u00a0The upside, if you\u2019re experiencing ASRC, is that you\u2019ve created a beautiful relationship with your child where they feel comfortable and safe enough where they know you\u2019ll be their soft landing for them.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Tips on how best to deal with after school restraint collapse<\/strong><\/h5>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

There may be no way to avoid it entirely, but you may find that as they get more comfortable with the daily school routine, the people in their class, and the work they must do, these breakdowns may start to decrease. We can never take all the stress away from our kids, but we can find ways to make our home an environment that works for them.\u00a0 \u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

\u00a01) Don\u2019t label the collapse<\/strong>\u00a0<\/h6>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

It\u2019s just a part of being a kid, validate the feelings they\u2019re having. It\u2019s okay for them to be tired, angry, grumpy, and any other emotion they\u2019re experiencing. Totally normal. Don\u2019t label it or judge. Just let them experience it and help them work through it.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

2) Be prepared with food.<\/strong>\u00a0<\/h6>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

They are likely hungry after school, and it\u2019s best to be prepared for this right away. They\u2019ve made many decisions during the day and are probably experiencing some decision fatigue, so asking \u201cwhat do you want to eat\u201d could be a tipping point. Just have a healthy snack they enjoy ready to go.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

\u00a04) Do not grill them about their day<\/strong>\u00a0<\/h6>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

Nobody wants to be bombarded with questions to the moment they\u2019re trying to relax. Give them some space, welcome them home with a hug and a smile and allow them to settle, but don\u2019t ask a million questions. They won\u2019t want to answer, and you\u2019re asking may provoke them. Give them some time, and at dinner or later in the evening, ask if they want to talk about their day. Give them a choice about whether they\u2019re like to share or not.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

\u00a0Once they\u2019re ready to talk, if you have a teen who will just answer a mumbled yes or not, try and keep the questions open-ended where they can\u2019t give a quick yes\/no or fine,\u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n