{"id":776,"date":"2017-08-25T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2017-08-25T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/staging.mabelslabels.com\/blog\/2017\/08\/25\/kids-scared-dogs-yes-really\/"},"modified":"2020-12-15T19:39:27","modified_gmt":"2020-12-15T19:39:27","slug":"kids-scared-dogs-yes-really","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mabelslabels.com\/blog\/2017\/08\/25\/kids-scared-dogs-yes-really\/","title":{"rendered":"My Kids Are Scared of Dogs (Yes, Really)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"image001sm\"<\/p>\n

My two boys are scared of dogs. I thought maybe they\u2019d grow out of it with time. They didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Their dog-related nervousness makes things awkward at social events such as birthday parties and playdates, as well as in public places like parks or beaches. Although we don\u2019t own a dog and don\u2019t plan to (my husband is allergic), I am trying to a take a more proactive approach in helping my kids overcome their fear. Here are some strategies we\u2019ve tried, and are still trying:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Be conscious of your own actions.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    As in most new situations, children pick up behaviour cues from their parents. \u201cParents should be aware of their own behaviour around dogs,\u201d says Kim Spitzig, co-founder of Pound Dog Rescue<\/a>, a non-profit organization based in southwestern Ontario. \u201cIf a parent seems uneasy or inadvertently makes negative comments about dogs, kids will pick up on that.\u201d<\/p>\n

    I don\u2019t think I was doing my kids any favours in this area, because I am, at best, neutral when it comes to dogs. I didn\u2019t grow up with one and neither did my husband. I don\u2019t really know how to behave around them since they are so unknown to me. Lately, I have tried to make an effort to have brief interactions with dogs we know. I purposely avoid phony, transparent comments like \u201cOh, look how fun it is to pet Lola!\u201d and instead aim for a relaxed vibe of \u201cit\u2019s no big deal, it\u2019s just a dog.\u201d<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Expose your kids to dogs in other ways.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      My younger son loves animals, and I sensed that while he wanted to like dogs, he was just a little spooked by them in real life. So we played with dog stuffies, pretending to care for them and feed them. We sought out images of dogs and puppies in picture books, sticker books, cartoons and movies. We were on such a roll that I even ordered him some shoe labels<\/a> with a dog icon on them. I know it might sound ridiculous, but those little things helped him start to view dogs in a positive light.<\/p>\n

        \n
      1. Introduce them to the right kind of dog.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        Through her rescue work, Kim has extensive experience with dogs of all ages, types and sizes. For nervous kids, her best advice is to first expose them to calm, well-mannered, non-threatening dogs. \u201cSenior dogs can be a great choice because they typically have a more mellow demeanour,\u201d she says. \u201cCompared to younger dogs, they are less likely to exhibit excitable behaviours such as barking, licking or jumping up.\u201d<\/p>\n

        The other day, my kids and I were in a pet store admiring the fish (a pet we could conceivably have someday) when an owner came in with an enormous malamute. Eager to continue my positive-dog-interaction-role-model streak, I said hello to the owner and inquired about the dog. It turned out that Ben was a 13-year-old gentle giant who sat patiently while my younger son gave him a few tentative strokes and asked the owner some questions. It was a huge achievement (literally and figuratively).<\/p>\n

          \n
        1. Remember that observing is valuable, too.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          While my younger son shyly petted Ben the wolf lookalike, my older son stood cautiously with his back pressed up against the aquariums. Quite simply, he is going to need more time.<\/p>\n

          Many well-meaning people have insisted that my kids pet their dog, as if that will somehow get them over the hurdle once and for all. This pressure situation usually just adds to the stress, especially for my older son. He will reluctantly touch the dog for a millisecond to get the whole thing over with, then pull back with his worries unchanged.<\/p>\n

          Kim suggests that fearful kids start by simply being in the same area with a dog to observe it. \u201cKids should not be forced to pet or interact with a dog,\u201d she says, \u201cbut the hope is with more exposure and the parent taking the lead, they will be encouraged to participate eventually.\u201d In this way, I\u2019m pleased that my older son witnessed his brother interact safely with big, furry Ben. The same thing has occurred with Maggie, our relatives\u2019 golden retriever. She is impeccably trained and will not bite even if provoked. While my older son is still intimidated by her, it has been a positive experience for him to watch his cousins \u2013 kids of a similar age who he knows and trusts \u2013 confidently interact with her by using signals and voice commands.<\/p>\n

            \n
          1. Know the right behaviours.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

            A dog\/kid meet-up won\u2019t go well if either side feels threatened. \u201cWhen petting a dog, it is best to keep your hands low and pet the underside of a dog\u2019s chin or the side of its body,\u201d Kim advises. \u201cComing from above and trying to pet it on the top of its head can be uncomfortable or scary for a dog.\u201d She also suggests that kids avoid petting or pulling on sensitive areas like a dog\u2019s ears, tail or feet.<\/p>\n

            If approached by an unknown dog, Kim says that children should remain calm, stay still and keep their hands at their sides. \u201cA common reaction is to raise their arms up, which encourages a dog to jump,\u201d she explains. \u201cKids should never scream or run away, as this can overstimulate the dog and activate a chase reflex.\u201d<\/p>\n

              \n
            1. Communicate openly with dog owners.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

              If we\u2019re out for a walk and my kids spot a dog, their instinct is to grab my hand and retreat to the edge of the sidewalk. Most dog owners are thoughtful and intuitive, shortening the leash and passing us with a quick smile.<\/p>\n

              There have been a couple of exceptions. One time, a gentleman walking a springer spaniel openly reprimanded me, saying it was regrettable that my kids had a needless fear of dogs. Another time, my older son had a fearful reaction to an unleashed dog that bounded on to the baseball diamond where he was playing. The owner, trailing behind, called out: \u201cMax won\u2019t hurt you \u2013 he just wants to play.\u201d When I went over and explained that my son was nervous around dogs, the owner said I should \u201ccure him\u201d of it, presumably by having him play with the exuberant Max. After I politely declined and they left, it made me wonder if some of these owners were taking my kids\u2019 reluctance as some sort of slight against their dog and by extension, them. Now I always preface my explanation with \u201cI\u2019m sure your dog is very nice and well behaved,\u201d making it clear that it\u2019s our issue, not theirs.<\/p>\n

                \n
              1. Set up a controlled interaction with a dog you trust.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                The problem with the random, unexpected encounter with Max was just that: it was random and unexpected. Consider planning a dog interaction where you and your child can prepare in advance. We are lucky to have wonderful neighbours with a miniature schnauzer named Ollie. When my younger son seemed ready to be around a real dog instead of a stuffed one, we asked if we could take Ollie for a walk. The first time, I held the leash the whole time and my son simply watched Ollie\u2019s antics (we learned that peeing on every second tree is his specialty). The next time, my son took a few turns with the leash and grew more familiar with Ollie\u2019s routine. With every walk, his comfort level has increased exponentially, and it has been a remarkable thing to witness.<\/p>\n

                I don\u2019t want my kids to be permanently afraid of dogs. Based on what we\u2019ve seen from the ones living with our friends and families, they are a wonderful source of companionship, unconditional love and comic relief. Even though we\u2019ll never have our own Ben, Maggie or Ollie, I\u2019m grateful that we\u2019re getting to know them better.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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