The other day, I found myself texting three different moms back and forth about plans for Friday night. “Can the kids stay later?” “Who’s driving?” “Are phones allowed?” It felt like a full-time job just trying to coordinate one hangout.
Meanwhile, my tween was trying to convince me that every single kid in her friend group was allowed to stay up until midnight and that I was “literally the only mom” making her put her phone away.
That’s when it hit me: our kids were operating with a completely different set of rules depending on whose house they were at. At my place, phones get turned off at 8pm. At another mom’s house, they were allowed in the bedrooms all night long. One family was strict about curfew; another was more relaxed. The kids, of course, knew all of this—and played us against each other constantly.
Sound familiar?
That’s when I decided to call a Mom Summit. Nothing fancy—just a Starbucks table, lattes in hand, and a meeting of the minds with the parents of my kids’ closest friends. The goal? Get on the same page about house rules so our kids couldn’t divide and conquer. No microphones. No PowerPoints. Just moms, coffee, and an honest conversation about what we expect from our kids—and how we can work together to make sure those expectations stick.
It turned out to be one of the smartest parenting moves I’ve made.
Why a Mom Summit Works
The magic of the Mom Summit is simple: consistency.
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Kids don’t waste energy trying to figure out who has what rules—it’s the same everywhere.
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Parents feel more confident knowing their child is safe and supervised in a familiar way, no matter whose house they’re at.
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Nobody has to be the “strict one” or the “push-over.” We’re all in this together.
But beyond rules, something bigger happens: trust grows. I trust other parents to reinforce my boundaries, they trust me to reinforce theirs, and our kids see that we’re connected. It sends a powerful message: the adults are aligned, and the rules stick—no matter where you go.
What We Covered at Our First Summit
Our summit wasn’t about nitpicking every little thing. It was about creating a united front on the big, everyday battles parents of tweens know all too well.
Here’s what we tackled:
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Curfews – We agreed on 9:00 p.m. for school nights, 10:30 p.m. on weekends. This way, no kid feels embarrassed by being “the first one picked up.”
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Phones & devices – No phones at dinner tables, no phones in bedrooms (even during sleepovers)
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Screen time – Max of 1–2 hours on school nights. Same rule, everywhere.
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Pick-ups & drop-offs – Parents do the driving, not older siblings. Kids must check in with their own parent before leaving a house.
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Discipline – Hosting parents can step in if behavior crosses a line. We agreed on shared consequences, like calling for early pick-up if needed.
And then we pushed into the gray areas (it naturally came up, not part of the loose agenda)—the stuff that can cause tension later if you don’t talk about it:
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Snacks & drinks – We agreed no energy drinks, no free-for-all with junk food. A plate of nachos or a couple slices of pizza? Perfect. But everyone draws the line at giant bags of sour keys and bottomless sugary drinks.
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Homework first – No hangouts until homework’s done. This rule saved me so many arguments.
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Respect & manners – We all want polite, kind kids. “Please” and “Thank you” aren’t optional., we can casually call out the kids who aren’t using them.
The Ripple Effect for Kids
The change was almost immediate.
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The kids stopped arguing about curfews because they knew everyone had the same one.
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Nobody felt left out—everyone’s parents were saying yes or no to the same things.
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They stopped trying the classic “But at so-and-so’s house they don’t have to…” line.
Instead, they focused on actually enjoying time together. And weirdly enough, they seemed relieved. Rules feel less unfair when they’re applied equally. The homework rule has even proven to help some of the kids’ grades improve. They know their friends are doing to homework right after school, so they did the same.
The Cons (Because It’s Not All Smooth Sailing)
I’ll be real with you: that first summit was a little awkward.
One mom thought our curfew was too strict. Another wanted more flexibility with phones. There were definitely a few side-eyes and long pauses. But we worked through it, and here’s the thing: it’s so much better to hash it out over coffee than to deal with awkward blow-ups later.
We compromised where we could, and where we couldn’t, we respected differences. Even having the conversation made things clearer.
Why Everyone Should Try a Mom Summit
If your kids are between 8–13, this is the perfect time. They’re gaining independence but still need guidance. Getting aligned now makes the teen years (when things get more complicated) so much easier.
It doesn’t need to be a big production. Just a few moms, a coffee shop table, and an honest chat about what matters in your households. You’ll leave with peace of mind, stronger friendships, and kids who know that the grown-ups in their lives are connected and consistent.
Because when we parent together, we don’t just make our own lives easier—we make life better for our kids.
