Going back to school is a big deal – and it can be an even bigger one if your child is starting at a new, unfamiliar school. We’ve got tips for kids starting at a new school, and strategies to help ease the stress, for both you and your child.
Things to do before your child starts at a new school
As always, you know your child best and are the most qualified person to customize these ideas for them. Some kids will benefit from lots of advance information, while others are better off taking each moment as it comes. Here are some proactive steps you can take before your child sets foot in the new school:
- Talk it through. This may be especially important for older kids who are more attached to their existing school and need time to wrap their heads around the change. Adopt the role of sympathetic listener and let them express their emotions. Validate their feelings of frustration or nervousness. Later, when they’re in a less emotional headspace, explain why this school is a logical solution and highlight its appealing features.
- Read about it. Normalize the back-to-school experience by reading picture books like Mooncat and Me or The New Bear at School. Recommended picks for junior students are the middle-school classic Wonder and the award-winning graphic novel New Kid.
- Do your homework. Surf the school’s website and social media accounts for useful information such as the principal’s name, bell times, newsletters, and important dates.
- Reach out. Call the school so you can be directed to the appropriate contact person, whether it’s the principal, vice principal or guidance counselor. The school may already have an established orientation process for incoming students. Make a list of questions in advance (with input from your child, if appropriate) and take this opportunity to ask away.
- Get the first-day scoop. Find out the school’s first-day traditions and procedures. Inquire about your child’s class placement in advance, so they can arrive at school already knowing their teacher’s name and room number.
- Generate positive hype. Do you know anyone — such as a friend, relative, or neighbor — who attends or previously attended the school? Enlist them to chat briefly with your child and share their positive reviews.
- Play it up. If the schoolyard and playground equipment are open to the public, take your child there for some unstructured play time several days before school begins.
- Take a tour. Now that you’ve got all the background information, you’re ready to schedule a tour of the school itself. See as much of the building as you can and help your child locate common areas such as the library, gym and cafeteria. Walk around the outside to find your child’s line-up zone, entrance/exit door and bus pick-up area, if relevant.
Supporting your child on the first day at a new school
There’s bound to be a lot of nervous energy on the first day, so here are a few factors to consider:
- Travel together. On day 1, you may want to keep things simple by driving your child or walking with them to school. You can work out the transportation details on day 2 and beyond.
- Gear up. You know best if your child will be excited to start fresh with a brand-new backpack, lunch box and water bottle — or will be comforted by having their well-loved, familiar ones. Either way, label all their belongings so nothing is lost or mixed up.
- Re-cap some friend-making tips. Give your child a few basic strategies and conversation starters for meeting new kids. Dress them in a shirt with a favorite character or sports team on it, as a head start to finding common ground with peers.
- Be upbeat yourself. Your child will take their cue from you, so put on a brave face. Be understanding about their jitters, yet firm and confident in their ability to handle this.
How to set your child up for success at their new school
After you survive the first day, here are some additional tips for the days and weeks that follow:
- Establish lines of communication. You’ll want to connect with your child’s teacher as soon as possible. They will play a pivotal role in making your child feel welcome, placing them with compatible peers, and keeping you in the loop if issues arise. Start by sending an e-mail and ask for an in-person meeting if possible.
- Send support. A mom friend shared her concern that lunch period would be the loneliest time for her son at his new school. So, she sent a little “love note” in his lunch every day, with an encouraging message. Mabel’s Labels Washaway Lunch Box Notes are great for this purpose!
- Get involved. Attend school events, such as the “Meet the Teacher” night or Parent Council/PTA meetings. Encourage your child to get involved in school activities such as intramurals, clubs, sports teams, and student leadership.
- Log in. To ensure your child isn’t left out of anything, make sure you are signed up in the school’s online system for e-mail updates, pizza orders, field trip forms, and fundraisers.
- Set a healthy routine. This transition will place extra demands on your child, so make sure they are eating balanced meals and getting plenty of sleep. Minimize before-school stress by establishing a solid morning routine that isn’t rushed. After school, do your best to balance out homework and free time.
While starting at a new school can be intimidating, you and your child will get through it, one day at a time. Before you know it, they’ll be settled into a groove, and what previously seemed like a “big deal” will now be their daily routine.
