With Mother’s Day around the corner, we need to remind ourselves that while it’s a beautiful day to celebrate, everyone experiences it differently. It used to be a day when mothers were doted on by families with flowers and homemade cards. But, lately, we have begun to wake up to the complexities of Mother’s Day.
Those complexities include so many different reasons people find this day hard. Perhaps you’ve lost your mother or are struggling with infertility. So many people had mothers who weren’t there for them, some are watching their moms fade away to disease, or perhaps they live far away from their mom. There are so many ways the day can be triggering and complicated and stir up trauma. We recognize all these complexities and struggles with the day. If this feels like you, then feel free to take a pass on this post. Celebrate, or don’t, in any way which feels right for you—sending you all with all the love and strength you need.
Today, we look at single mothers. Mother’s Day is the same as any other day for a single mother. You wake up and take on the same responsibilities as the day before. No fancy breakfast in bed, no flowers, cards, or chocolate. Nobody is congratulating you. Nobody is splurging on you with a spa day. Just all the same duties that motherhood gives you day-in-and-day-out, without complaint.
But it doesn’t need to be.
It doesn’t mean you can’t take some time to reflect on the good times, your accomplishments, and your feelings about being a mother. Being a mother isn’t easy; doing it alone has even more challenges. But, it doesn’t have to be a day where people dote on you- go ahead and celebrate yourself. You deserve it.
Tips on how to celebrate as a single mom:
Throw a party for other single mamas:
Invite other incredible women. Let the kids play together while you celebrate yourselves. Make it extra special with some champagne or fun cocktails. Toast to your successes, and that you’re all exceptional, beautiful, and lovely women!
Set your own expectations:
Not only does this leave you knowing that you’ll get a day you enjoy, but it teaches your children to grow into thoughtful and appreciative people. Give them some money, take them to the shop, ask them to pick something out for you, ask them to make you a card, or request that they let you sleep in. Set your expectations by explaining to them why Mother’s Day is important and special to you. Teach them ways they can show appreciation to you. It may feel selfish, but it teaches them how to be thoughtful and appreciative people and will ensure that they’ll always honor the day with you as they grow up.
Start your tradition:
When your kids are young, set your expectations for the day. Keep it simple, yet something that you enjoy. Perhaps it’s the day you all go for a hike together? Or have a tea party in the backyard or make it the day you plant the flowers in the garden?
Spend the day with your other family members:
Celebrate with the aunts, grandmothers, and cousins. This gives other people a chance to show you some love and a time for you to celebrate the other mothers and supports in your life.
Set up a photoshoot:
Before Mother’s Day, book a photoshoot with your kids. Photoshoots are a fun way to spend some time together. Plus, you’ll have beautiful photos hanging on the wall and a wonderful reminder of a lovely day together.
Get the house cleaned:
There isn’t anyone else to take on the dirty work as single moms. So treat yourself to a cleaning person this week and lighten your load. It will feel so good and give your more time to relax.
Finally, to all fellow single moms, you are amazing. Remind yourself- it’s called Mother’s Day, not wife day. So celebrate motherhood. Enjoy your day. Even though it’s tough and feels less fun to do it for yourself, it doesn’t need to be. You can still enjoy your day; make it what you want. Think of all the difficult bridges you’ve already crossed in motherhood. Be proud of how amazing, strong, and beautiful you are and how far you have come on this journey!
Happy Mother’s Day!