We all know there’s no “i” in team, but as we’re learning, you can’t spell “pandemic” without “panic.”
These are mind-boggling times. There is no business as usual, no household as usual, no parenting as usual. Many of our familiar routines and activities have vanished into thin air – kidnapped by a virus we can’t see and don’t fully understand. There is a sense of foreboding now associated with going anywhere, touching anything, or getting too close to anyone.
Six months ago, our current situation would have sounded like a pitch for a ridiculously far-fetched science fiction movie. Our new reality has closed us off from schools, playgrounds, youth sports, birthday parties and family gatherings. Our kids’ routines (and ours) have been turned upside down.
We are lucky to have heroes leading the charge, from front-line medical personnel to grocery store staff. We need to thank them and show our support by acting responsibly. As parents, we must keep our wits about us. We’re like the flight attendants on a plane that is experiencing severe turbulence. Our kids immediately look to us, and take their cue from our reaction.
We don’t need to review the other well-known air travel analogy, about putting on your own oxygen mask before helping others. We’re way past that. We’re simultaneously juggling work, home, kids, finances, education, basic hygiene, and our own personal worries. To coin a new airplane-related expression, it’s about as easy as piloting a 747 blindfolded, with only a hyperactive baboon as your co-pilot.
Still, let’s keep an eye on the big picture. If we’re home, with our kids at home, and we’re all healthy, we’re the lucky ones. Although we’ll try not to take that for granted, we inevitably will, and instead get hung up on the question of how to pass the time during this long stretch of (as my kids call them) “home days.”
Perhaps with this great challenge, comes a great opportunity. (I don’t know who said that, but it sounds like something from Oprah, or maybe Spider-Man.) This could be a weird and wonderful chance to do the things we’ve always wanted to do in parenting, but never had the time.
If you have a toddler or a preschooler, you can now do things at their pace. Read to them without feeling rushed or constrained by a schedule. Build a block tower (then destroy it, rebuild it, and repeat 80 times). Put on costumes or funny hats. Talk about letters, numbers, shapes and colours. Decide on your favourite animal. Use every crayon you own. Sort through that forgotten box of hand-me-downs and let them wear whatever they want.
Your elementary school-aged kiddos are likely looking for a creative outlet. Maybe it’s assembling a new Lego creation, staging a performance, learning magic tricks, juggling, tackling a jigsaw puzzle or sketching a comic strip. Pull the calendar off the fridge and display their artwork in its place. Try a Pinterest craft that might have previously seemed too overwhelming or time-consuming. Host a multi-player Bingo game on FaceTime.
For pre-teens and teens, this can be a time to learn new things. Introduce them to cursive writing, proper typing technique, or online drawing tutorials. Teach them how to follow a recipe or start a load of laundry. P.S. You can do fun things, too. Watch old home movies. Create a family trivia quiz. Teach them a complicated card game (my 13-year-old loves head-to-head double solitaire). Make a throwback playlist of songs that were popular when you were their age.
None of these ideas are mandatory or come with any pressure. You know what works best for your family. Maybe your mornings are highly structured and your afternoons are low-key. Maybe your crew likes to sleep-in and get a leisurely start. Maybe there’s ample screen time during the day (for your work and their entertainment), so the evenings are the best time to unplug and interact. You make the call.
As the days start to blur together, take a moment to think about the things you always imagined doing with your kids, but never got to, because life got in the way. Since many parts of our lives are temporarily on hold, this could be our chance to enjoy our families a little bit differently.
There is no instruction manual or frame of reference for what’s ahead, but you’ve got what it takes to get through this. Trust yourself and take things one day at a time. Above all, keep steering your family with the same steady hand.
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